(Featured on Charisma Magazine)
Not everyone loves Valentine’s Day. Especially if your Valentine is gone or has changed. Divorce, separation, death, or trauma can overwhelm the wounded heart with grief, pain, and loneliness, which only intensifies during a holiday where others are celebrating love that for you is now a mere memory.
I’ve personally known the devastation of abandonment, loss, and heartbreak. And yet I also know the victory of progressing one painful step at a time from barely surviving, to really living. In my daily interaction with people in pain, it saddens me to see those who seem to want to stay stuck. Those first few steps can be the hardest. But no matter who was at fault, or how unfair things may have been, we still can choose to move forward.
Whether this is a good time or a deep valley, we can always celebrate love. Contrary to what many assume, love is not merely a warm fuzzy feeling. True love takes action! The following are three actions that have helped me over the years, not just on Valentine’s Day, but also for the ups and downs of everyday life.
- Love Yourself
Self-care is so much more than manicures, massages, and movies. Encompassing all areas of life, Biblical self-care is crucial for successfully navigating the onslaught of life’s challenges. Try incorporating a self-scan into your daily routine. STOP. (Really.) ASK, “What do I need right now?” Then TAKE CARE of that need.
Consider your spiritual needs (such as feeding on God’s Word, and pouring out your heart to the Lord), your physical needs (such as getting enough sleep, nutrients, and regular exercise), and your emotional needs (such as processing the feelings in a healthy way, and surrounding yourself with good support). Self-care is not a luxury, but a lifeline. And when we take care of ourselves, those around us will also benefit.
For a more complete self-care checklist, see Formerly A Wife (divorce recovery), Goodbye for Now (grief support and preparation), and LOVE OUR VETS (PTSD support).
- Love Someone Else
When Jesus instructed us to love our neighbor as ourselves, it wasn’t just a nice suggestion. It was a command! Ironic how when I’m having a pity party, one of the best things I can do is reach out to someone else who may be hurting. Not only does it take my mind off myself, it is a blessing to the other person.
Who do you know that could use some encouragement today? Pray for them. Maybe take them a gift basket, or give them a call or email. Or send a card in the mail (remember how to do that?) 😉 Love in action will also help put our own suffering in perspective.
- Love the LORD Your God
This is truly the supreme love to celebrate! God’s all surpassing grace was expressed through the suffering and death of his Son on the cross…for us who deserve nothing but eternal separation from Him. When was the last time you just sat, alone, WITH Him? And pondered the awesome wonder of His eternal love for us, and the privilege of loving Him in return?
Ask ourselves, “Is He our First Love? Over and above everyone and everything else in our life?”
This love we can celebrate anytime…now and throughout eternity. And the other reassurance of God’s love is that He will never leave, and He will never change. Not even the most amazing earthly Valentine could ever come close.
I hope you truly do have a happy Valentine’s Day, and are able to celebrate all 3 of these loves. Every day!
Jesus declared, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matthew 22:37-39)
