No one dreams of a life splotched with divorce, grief, trauma, illness, pain, and aging. We used to laugh when we said, “Life is hard–then you die.” But what if all these unwanted circumstances turned into something far more beautiful than just a fairy tale? And helped others along the way?
I remember the day my husband of twelve years announced to me that he no longer wanted to be married, and three weeks later he was off with someone else. Collapsing on the floor I just shook with shock. This stuff only happens to other people! How can I survive and also raise our three year old boy?
At the time I couldn’t find any good faith based books to guide and encourage divorced women. So I kept a journal, got counseling even though I had a counseling degree ;), and connected with other ex-wives to learn all I could. And several years later Formerly a Wife was published! In it I tackle a plethora of questions divorced people wrestle with, and offer practical tips on not just surviving–but thriving.
Lots of prayer, feeling the feelings, and making healthy choices enabled me to walk through that deep valley, and emerge on the other side stronger and more beautiful than before. And my son actually turned out okay too! 😊
The next dark valley was the death of my father. We were very close, and even though we saw it coming our family was totally unprepared. In every way. Struggling to handle the overwhelming waves of grief and endless torrents of tasks, we desperately needed a guide to help us navigate the journey.
I’m truly grateful that our family all came to know Jesus as our Savior years before, so that peace was a huge comfort. Eventually after things settled down, I wrote the book Goodbye for Now to help, guide, encourage and comfort others in their loss. Everything all in one book–the practical steps, the personal care, and the spiritual perspective.
After that I told the Lord my next book would be a fun one. Oops! Still more growing and learning to go.
My next major life challenge popped up when I fell in love with a combat vet and entered the daunting world of PTSD. I embarked on a huge learning curve, and am still in process. 😉 So much good has come out of it all, including a very fulfilling marriage, the Love Our Vets – PTSD Family Support network, and the book Love Our Vets: Restoring Hope for Families of Veterans with PTSD.
One of the greatest rewards is hearing someone say, “I’m not alone! You understand! And I have hope.”
Years later, I finally got to write the happy book! But what led up to it was the darkest–most difficult time of my life.
I collapsed physically and emotionally as a result of a perfect storm which included: caring for and losing my mother, an overload of stress from work and life pressures, nearly dying from an emergency surgery followed by a deadly infection, toxic mold exposure unbeknownst to me, death of my doctor, wildfires threatening our home, the pandemic, political rioting in our town, buying a new house, and an ensuing undiagnosed medical condition which bombarded me with traumatizing drugs, painful medical procedures and nonstop testing.
No longer could I eat or sleep, and was barely functioning. I suffered from extreme anxiety and depression, wishing I’d get hit by a bus, and begging the Lord to take me Home.
I now knew without a doubt what PTSD was like first-hand.
After almost two years of struggling to make it through hour by hour, God provided me with a new doctor who eventually got to the root of the problem! I was suffering from severe mold-toxicity, as well as a limbic system impairment. I was literally dying from mycotoxins, and my brain was locked into fight or flight survival mode.
Several years later after plodding through the grueling work of retraining my brain and healing, the happy book–Hope for the Wobbly–was born! 🙂 I never dreamed all my reflections and wisdom gained through the years could end up brightening someone else’s day.
I’m now more alive and fulfilled than ever before! But I needed to go through the unbearable darkness and pain to appreciate the light, and this new season of joy and hope that’s pouring into the lives of others who feel wobbly.
And to top it all off, the day Hope for the Wobbly was being published, I was having cancer surgery—just the beginning of more intense trauma. Looking back on this last season, I’m thrilled to realize everything I wrote in the Wobbly book prior to finding out I had cancer rings truer than ever! And maybe even more so as I continue to learn and grow.
Life is hard. But God is good.
And nothing brings me more joy than helping people in the midst of hard times to not just survive–but to thrive!
There’s always hope. 💛
~Welby O’Brien welbyo.com
P.S. All four books have been recently published with a new publisher. 🙂 AND…I am cancer-free today! Thank YOU, Jesus! 💜
